Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
