his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
