Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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