the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize