I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
