You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
