This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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