She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
