You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
