U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize