Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
