your thong is hanging out like whoa
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
