Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize