If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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