one two three fourrrrnication!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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