I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
