They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
he had hair everywhere except his balls
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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