I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
We got so high we made milksteak
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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