is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just gargled with NyQuil
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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