i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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