so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
