Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize