i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
