"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
