She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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