Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
