it's too hot outside to masturbate.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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