i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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