Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
