I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
