I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
