I didn't shave. On purpose
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
third nipple confirmed
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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