The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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