In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We are two peas in an std pod
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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