that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
