My nipple is on Facebook.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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