so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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