no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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