Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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