NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
