i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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