yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Come share oat with me in your robe
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize