I want to walk on stilts...naked
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she told me i tasted like america
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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