Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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