I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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