I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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