I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
