yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
