They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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