Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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