we have pet lesbian snakes
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
