considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
