I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
