There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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