her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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