i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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