i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
They have beer where we have blood.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
