i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
