She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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