I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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