Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
